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Now, I have a deep knowing that my body is wonderful, even on the days my mind tells me it’s not ...

200km February running challenge complete (thanks @strava for the motivation).

I don't talk much about my training anymore,

not because I don't still love it,

more because my life got bigger,

training became less of an identity,

more of a personal passion.

I remember when I danced, I didn't think I looked like a dancer, I thought my belly stuck out too much, I was seven.

I remember when I was a gymnast, I didn't think I looked like a gymnast, I thought my thighs were too big.

I remember when I powerlifted for team GB, I was told I didn't look like a powerlifter, I looked too slim.

I remember I was training for an Ironman, I thought I didn't look like a triathlete, I thought I was too muscular.

I always thought my body was always too much,

or not quite enough,

it was always wrong.

now I realise that the issue was never actually my body.

the issue was with my thoughts about my body.

the issue was with other people's thoughts about my body.

And now I am learning to be so grateful for this body, and it’s wonderful quirks

it’s long long arms that are just wonderful for reaching foods on the top shelf of the supermarket

it’s wotsit shaped toes that can act as substitute fingers if I need to pick something off the floor

it’s strong legs that allow me to run and run and jump through the ocean waves

it’s spontaneously erect nipples that will be fabulous targets for any future children to feed from

it’s large abdominal scar that reminds me, we heal, we always heal.

Now, I have a deep knowing that this body is wonderful

even on the days the world, or my mind tries to tell me that it’s not.

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